I didn’t come up with this theory myself, but rather learned it from the great Jenny Lawson in her book Furiously Happy (which if you haven’t read, you should totally read it because it changed my life.)
So here we go.
Everyone has a certain amount of spoons that they swallow in a day. You use a spoon every time you get out of bed, change your clothes, eat, etc. Simple things. Although this doesn’t sound like a big deal, some people have less spoons than others. For instance, I don’t have many spoons because of my anxiety and depression. It takes a spoon for me to get out of bed, to talk to people, and to do things people don’t normally think of wasting a spoon on. But for me, it is a huge deal. Using spoons means that I’m putting my entire energy into something, and therefore I will be come tired more easily. This is why I often may take naps in the middle of the day or will refuse to go out after dinner. I have used all my spoons to do wonderful things during the day. Sometimes I have more spoons than other days so I will have the energy to do things. But other days I won’t.
For most people, when they run out of spoons, they simply call it in. However, thats mainly because people run out of spoons at an “appropriate” time, like for bed and things like that. Yet when I run out of spoons and I simply can’t go back to my room to recharge with youtube or a book, I have consequences. These consequences include irritability, exhaustion, increased feelings of depression, and most often, panic attacks. So if you may be wondering, why is Zoey retreating to her room at 7 pm? Lets go party! Its because I don’t really feel like having a panic attack and in order to stay sane, I have to recharge and restock on my spoons.
Its always funny telling people who don’t know my spoon theory, “Sorry, I can’t go out. I ran out of spoons.” My parents and my boyfriend use it for me quite a lot. When I don’t have the energy to go out, my mother says, “No spoons? Thats ok. We’ll see you later.” And it makes sense. It allows people to understand that I don’t have energy to do things and somehow makes it more excusable. I guess.
I recommend applying this theory for yourselves. Tell a person you can’t go out because you used all your spoons getting out of bed and simply making lunch. Its okay. You do what you need to do get through your day. Save all your spoons for a day when you really need them.
Have a day filled with kittens, Okay?