The fashion tangent

I always feel accomplished when people tell me my outfit looks great or compliment my outfit or me physically in some way. The best is when people tell me, “You look great!”. You may be thinking, what a egotistical millennial once again obsessed with themselves. I blame the instagram. But you would be wrong.

I relish these compliments because it makes me think Yes! I’ve fooled them. They’ll never know that I’m a mentally ill freak HA HA AHA HA HAHA! But if we’re talking seriously, it actually does make me feel better because it takes them off the topic of the fact that while I’m having this conversation, I’m actually trying to hide the fact that I really want to go back to my room and read.

I don’t like letting this on. It feels like I’m showing you my secret identity underneath my super hero spandex, but I guess I made this blog to stop hiding my secrets about myself and try to encourage people to do the same. So I guess this is a very vulnerable, but good place to start. I’m not who my clothes suggest I am.

 Don’t get me wrong, I don’t dress for anyone and I never have. I have always dressed for myself because I want to look good for me. I haven’t given a shit about what people think of what I wear since ever. Hell, I wore spiked chokers (we called them dog collars in the day) and my System of a Down shirt in 3rd grade and did not give a single fuck because I loved how it represented my personality. But, there is this added layer that I have discovered that allows me to take the focus off of my mind and instead pull it to my clothing and make up. I guess what I’m really trying to say is that my clothing reveals what I want people to perceive about me instead of maybe whats really there. Sometimes my clothing is really just me enjoying the idea of wearing clothes. I will always feel the best when I’m wearing a circle skirt, kitten heels, and my hair in victory rolls (because I want to look like a 50s house wife with the radical feminist mindset) but I really don’t want you to think I actually want to be a 50s house wife…

I’m going on a tangent. Let me get back to the point.

Thank you for complimenting my clothes. I have imposter syndrome which means that I mentally can not eternalize my accomplishments and I can’t take compliments well. Clothing? I take that to heart. It makes me feel like I have accomplished hiding the bad parts of my inner self and you are complimenting what I want you to perceive me as. Plus I put a lot of thought into that shit. Not for you, for me.

This post might have not made a lot of sense because I think I’m talking in circles but in summary, thank you for complimenting my clothes, my hair, my glasses whatever. They’re the only compliments I can really eternalize and they make me feel like a normal human being, if only for a little while.

Have a day filled with kittens, okay?

Zoey K.

 

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