Me: I need to shave parts of my head again.
Mom:…no you don’t.
Me: You’re just saying that because you don’t want me to shave my head, not because I actually don’t need to.
Me: Well I’m going to do it anyway.
Mom: Darlin’, you’ve done what you wanted about how you look like you’re entire life, ever since you chopped all your hair off because you wanted to be the only girl without a bun in ballet.
Me: Yep. Speaking of ballet, I was thinking about getting into it.
Mom: What? Why?
Me: I don’t know. It might be fun. Plus I really want to get on pointe.
Mom: Zoey you have to dance for a really long time in order to get on pointe. I’m pretty sure you’re past your prime on that one.
Me: No way! I could totally do it.
Mom: *she basically says a lot of things meaning that there is no way I’m strong enough to do it*
Me: I think I really just want to try pointe shoes.
Mom: Well you can just buy them and hurt your huge feet and then realize you can’t dance.
Me: You’re the worst encouraging mother ever.
Mom: Oh please, this and the harp are the only two things in your damn life that I didn’t encourage you to try.
Me: I still really want to learn the harp.
Mom: Harps are disgusting. You can’t even hear them in an orchestra. What purpose do they serve other than to go “bloop bloop bloop”? Do they even make pointe shoes in your shoe size?
Mom: I’m just trying to picture your humongous big toe squished into one of those little pointe shoes. *giggles*
Me: Oh my god mom.
My mother is actually the best because she’s supported me throughout my life every step of the way. And she didn’t give me everything I wanted. I’m not some spoiled brat. She just let me try everything, and let me realize for myself whether or not I could actually do it. My favorite conversation ever with my mom happened in a store when I was about 12 trying on a pair of short shorts.
I appear out of the dressing room in a pair of shorts.
Me: What do you think?
Mom:…………..You can wear those…
Mom:…if you want to look like a whore.
*Notice: my mother does not slut shame. She is simply trying to tell her pre-teen daughter that her shorts are too short and wants to shock her out of buying them. Considering, she succeeded.*
Have a day filled with kittens, okay?