My blog is all about revealing a lot of things that are hard for me to say so that others can relate to it and feel supported. So, here’s another rather personal post that for once actually doesn’t have to do with my mental health.
I have been thinking about this for a few years, but never seriously considered it until very recently. But, I have made my decision.
I am bisexual.
No, I’m not confused, I’m not experimenting, I’m not going through a phase. I do have attraction for both men and women.
You may be thinking, “How did you come to this conclusion?” “Why now?” “Are you still with your boyfriend?”
To answer that last question, yes, I am still with him and this decision had nothing to do with anything related to our relationship. (It is going very well despite the distance.) I did not have an affair with a woman to figure this out nor did any sort of other experimentation with another woman. I simply came to this decision through a lot of thinking and assessment and through talking to some close friends who are bi or gay.
I’ve always found women beautiful and have found my self staring at their beautiful faces and breasts, but I never considered myself bisexual because I thought that if I wasn’t exactly attracted to vaginas, I couldn’t be bisexual. But, I realized that when I had my first boyfriend, I wasn’t exactly attracted to the idea of a penis at first either. I was with him because he is a really wonderful guy who is incredibly intelligent and has a heart of gold. It wasn’t until we were ready did that come into play and I realized okay yes I am into this. I have never had a sexual encounter with a woman because I’ve been in relationships for most of my life and they’ve always been with men.
Why now? Well, I have a lot of time to think while I’m in London. I spend most of my time alone in museums and those tube rides home give me a lot of time to think. Plus, I’ve always been hit on by women and rarely by men. I had always thought about why women were more attracted to me (mainly because of my short hair), and thought y’know, maybe if I’m single I may actually take that opportunity. However, I am not exactly trying to jump on the band wagon now or anytime soon.
I am embracing my sexuality and I’m really excited to be part of a community of really awesome people. I am really happy to say, and I must thank them, that my family supports my decision with happy hearts, and my boyfriend completely supports me and has helped me come to this decision as well. In the words of my mother, “Well we don’t care who you choose to love (as long as they’re nice to you).” My brother said, “You’re my sister, I support most of your decisions unless I think they’re life threatening or stupid. This is neither. I still love you all the same.” I am so so so so thankful to have such incredibly supportive people as my family.
I realize that others are not as fortunate as I when it comes to admitting their newfound sexuality to their loved ones. To those I say, I am here for you and I love you for exactly who you are, even if I don’t know you. You can love whoever you want. Follow your heart. Fuck those homophobic assholes. In the end, it is your decision and it is you who matters the most. You only have one life to live and you should be able to love whoever you want in that life.
Have a great day filled with kittens, Okay?
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