A conversation with my anxiety

At a Gaelectronica concert (yes this actually happened and yes it was for a class) 

Zoey is seen dancing away having a great time with friends. 

Anxiety: Hey…hey.. this bass is kind of loud.

Me: Yeah but its okay. Lets feel it out. I’m sure it’ll be okay.

Anxiety: Yeah but its like…I feel it in my heart. Thats kind of scary.

Me: It’s gonna be okay don’t worry.

Zoey continues to dance

Anxiety: So… its getting louder.

Me: Yeah its a little concerning but don’t freak out. Lets keep going.

Anxiety: I’m starting to freak out.

Sex conscious: Hey that violinist is really cute.

Anxiety: Can you not right now? They are playing so loud.

Me: Yo its gonna be fine.

Lights start strobing

Anxiety: I CAN’T SEE. I CAN’T FUCKING SEE.

Me: Hey, hey, its fine-

Anxiety: AAAAAHH SO BRIGHT HELP OH MY GOD THE BASS OH MY GOD THE LOUDNESS HOW COULD YOU MAKE ME STAND THIS AAAHHH. HEART RATE YOU WITH ME?

Heart rate: Yeah man lets do this.

Me: Hey lets not get into a panic attack please?

Anxiety: SUCKS TO FUCKING SUCK WE’RE GONNA FREAK OUT. HEY LUNGS LETS NOT WORK OKAY?

Lungs: Sounds good to me.

Me: No, no please can we not-

Anxiety: HEY NERVES LETS GET THIS SHAKING BUSINESS GOING ALRIGHT? LITTLE MISS PARTY PARTY OVER HERE THOUGHT SHE COULD STAND THIS LETS MAKE HER SUFFER.

Nerves: A’ight man whatever you say.

Me: Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Zoey is seen running out of the club.

Me: Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Zoey collapses in front of friends

Me: can’t breathe can’t breathe can’t breathe can’t breathe can’t feel can’t feel can’t feel can’t talk can’t talk can’t talk oh god help help help help help help..

Anxiety: LETS GET RID OF THAT ABILITY TO TALK OKAY? ITS PANIC ATTACK TIME AND ITS ALL THANKS TO MR CLUB YOU STUPID BITCH WHAT MADE YOU THINK YOU COULD OUT DO ME? YOUR WORST ENEMY? MUAHAHAHHAAHAHAAHAH YES HYPERVENTILATE. THERE GOES THE FEELING IN YOUR TOES. YOU MUST BE DYING. YOU PATHETIC LITTLE GIRL. NOW LETS GET MR. DEPRESSION IN HERE TO PUNSIH YOU SOME MORE. THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN STOP ME I CONTROL YOU AND NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO. MUAHAHAAHA

Zoey takes medication to stop panic. 

Anxiety: MUAHAHAHA oh. We’re calming down. Alright. That sounds good. But you’re not going to get the feeling back in your legs for a while because you hyperventilated. Have a good night.

Me: Fuck…you…

And thats pretty much how it goes every time I get a panic attack. Y’know. In case you were wondering.

Have a day filled with kittens, Okay?

Zoey K.

Follow me on: Instagram: okayzoeyk Twitter: @okayzoeyk

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