How are you?

I want to obliterate that question from our normal conversation.

I work in retail so I have to ask every customer that question and in return they answer and then return the question right back to me. This is how it usually goes:


Me: Hello! Find everything alright?

Customer: Yep!

Me: Great! How are you doing today?

Customer: I’m doing pretty well, how about you?

Me: I’m doing alright thanks!


You know what that conversation is laced with?

LIES.

But you can’t just tell a stranger the truth about how you’re really feeling. Can you imagine? It would probably go something like this:


Me: Hello! Find everything alright?

Customer: Yep!

Me: Great! How are you doing today?

Customer: I’m in a shopping mall and you’re not folding fast enough and my kid is wrecking your display but I’m not going to tell them not to because I’m exhausted from having to deal with my own kid everyday. I’m a tired, over-worked mother and please just give me my new clothes. How are you doing?

Me: Well I’m horrendously depressed and exhausted from acting happy everyday and I’m just trying to live and not think about killing myself all the time because that’s a thing now and life is just a real piece of shit right now and I’m working to keep myself busy so that I don’t constantly think about how awful I feel, thanks for asking!


No, we can’t do that because no one wants to hear it. No one wants to be a “downer”. So we lie. The only people who we can tell the truth to are friends and family who genuinely want to know how we’re doing. But people who I’m ringing up a shirt for? They could give less of a shit how I’m doing and it goes the same for me. Its not that we’re rude people, its just that we simply don’t have enough energy to carry the load of a stranger’s daily problems and true feelings.

So how can we fix this?

I’ve personally started complimenting customers instead of asking how their day is going. Whether its their hair or their glasses or their little earrings or just the fact that I like how they matched their clothing, I throw a compliment. This way, I don’t have to be asked how my day is and be thrown back into reality and they get a compliment and we both feel good.

How do you handle getting that question thrown at you? Leave it in the comment section or tweet at me! (@okayzoeyk)

Have a day filled with kittens, okay?

Zoey K.

Fun story about retail: One day a kid asked me if we had any wrist clocks. I nearly farted I laughed so hard.

Meditation: You Should Try It!

For some reason or another, I rejected meditation for a long time. Maybe it was because my mom told me it was great and obviously in the mind of young adults, anything a mom says automatically makes it “uncool”. I think it was also because the idea of thinking about breathing really freaks me out and therefore makes me think too hard about breathing and then I get anxious and therefore feel like I can’t breathe and its a vicious cycle.

However, while I was in anxiety treatment , I was shown Mindfulness Meditation.

“What?”, you may be saying, “Isn’t that just exactly the same thing with a different word thrown in front of it? Isn’t it still the same meditation you don’t like?”

No, dear reader, its quite different actually.

The goal of mindfulness meditation is for one to focus not on the breath, but on the complete absence of thinking. Its teaching how to let your mind be blank and how to treat the thoughts that may be wreaking havoc on our mind to slow down and simply let them pass. Its not about pushing your thoughts away, but simply letting acknowledging that the thought occurred, and then letting them go.

I may be making it sound easy, but its actually quite difficult and isn’t the same kind of relaxing meditation that we may think of after yoga. It actually take a lot of effort to let your mind be totally blank, especially if you have any sort of stress or anxiety. When you are experiencing tumultuous amounts of stress and anxiety is exactly when you should mindfully meditate. I still find my mind wandering when I do mindfulness and I’ve been doing it for months now every night before I go to sleep (it also helps with my constant nightmares!)

So to get you started on the mindfulness train, I thought I’d give you some places to check out:

To Begin:

MindfulPeace, the YouTube channel, has a bunch of really awesome videos, the man who speaks has a voice like silk, and the link above goes to their beginners guide to mindfulness meditation. It is a simple guided meditation to introduce you to not only mindfulness, but meditation as a whole. Other videos by them I would recommend:

  • Mindfulness for Sleep:  If you’re having trouble sleeping, I recommend this highly. I fall asleep usually 15 minutes into this 20 minute video. If you don’t like countdowns, however, I don’t recommend it.
  • Mindfulness for Depression:  It made my depression feel authentic and it got me to stop the lies depression yells at me, even if it was only for 20 minutes.
  • Mindfulness on Present Moment: Staying in the present moment is so difficult, especially when you’re worrying so much on the future. This meditation allows you to just live in the moment and stop thinking about your future for just 20 minutes. This is a common one I do in 10 minutes every day with an app called Headspace (another great place to begin with mindfulness)

Specifically Anxiety:

  • Mindfulness for Anxiety and Fear: Another one from MindfulPeace. Not as long as some of the other ones, but certainly is a comforting one.
  • Over-Thinking: Yes, its nearly 45 minutes long, but I highly recommend this one right before you go to sleep. Its ok if you fall asleep during the meditation, that means you’re really relaxed. I find this is another great one if you’re feeling particularly stressed out.
  • A Lil’ Bit of Everything: This one is on the shorter end, but its also really nice. If you’re more into a female voice, I recommend this channel and this video.

Other Kinds of Meditating:

  • Chakras:  If you’re into chakras or want to focus specifically on one part of you that may be nagging at you, I highly recommend this one.
  • Oceans: If the idea of being underwater calms you down, this one is super neat and really relaxing.
  • Forest Walk: Oceans not you’re thing? Try this one instead!

 

Happy meditating! Let me know your meditating experience down in the comments!

Have a day filled with kittens, Okay?

Zoey K.